This was hard to read. I was asked if I could write, and desperate for a job I sent this link because it is the only sample of my writing I have online. Anyway, its been close to five years since Ian passed, and it really does not get any easier. Small things hurt, a familiar scent, a familiar situation, a joke with no one to tell it to that would understand... But this all sounds like one big letter of complaint and thats not me, or it shouldn't be anyway. I posted these photos with the title "goodnight" and then fell asleep for five years. I can say one thing, is I am happy that I exist, because people going through this type of pain really need the right kind of support. Its not just the victim of the disease, but the caretakers that die. We still walk around, living and breathing, but every breath stings, and its like you are living in the absence of a book you once read, your favorite book. So I think I had different intentions for "goodnight" when I first wrote this entire blog in a day.